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Friday, July 7th, 2017
1:58 pm
these are mostly friends-only posts. if you'd like to be added, leave a comment.

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Wednesday, December 14th, 2011
12:13 am - what have i been up to?
oh, you know. the usual. my band is opening a sold out show for Clutch on sunday.

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Sunday, July 3rd, 2011
11:34 am - the triple scorpio TONIGHT

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Saturday, July 10th, 2010
7:43 pm - guess what?
i'm at fightscrime's wedding!

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Saturday, June 5th, 2010
10:07 pm - trying to keep it brief
re: the BP oil spill.

i went through a really hard time after hurricane katrina, after the severity of what had happened actually settled in. i spent weeks staying up all night, watching the news, reading articles online, and getting angrier and angrier that my people- yeah, that's right. my people- were being left to twist in the wind. when i did sleep, i had nightmares about floods and dead bodies floating through the streets.

eventually i came to accept that what happened, happened and there was nothing i could do to change it. getting angry and torturing myself wasn't going to fix it.

when i first read about the oil spill, i tried really hard to avoid following the news about it. after all, i knew that even the best case scenarios were going to be disastrous, but knowing about what was going on was only going to make me angry about things i can't control.

but in the past few weeks, the coverage on the spill has been pretty much unavoidable, and i find myself falling into that trap of watching the news all night, reading articles on websites, looking at pictures of pelicans struggling to escape blobs of oil. and there's that part of me that wants to be pissed off and bitter and say "THERE YOU GO. THERE'S LOUISIANA, GETTING SCREWED AGAIN." and while yes, louisiana is getting screwed, it's inevitable that this is probably going to affect all of the south and a big chunk of the east coast, too, if the predictions are correct.

i want to get mad at the president. seriously, i kind of want to take my vote back. i'm not sure what he's supposed to be doing, but whatever it is shouldn't have taken him six weeks to do.

the guy i'm actually mad at is BP's CEO tony hayward. could this guy possibly project more of a "i couldn't care less" attitude? i doubt it. this is becoming an environmental disaster on a global scale, and this dude seriously looks like it bothers him that he's got to take time out of his day to deal with it. and of course there's the obvious rancor that could be directed at the company itself, which invested billions in drilling technology but virtually nothing in researching failsafes in case something like this ever happened.

it sucks and i don't know what to do about it and it's triggering all the bad feelings i had after katrina, when i felt like i should be doing something but there was really not much i could do. i could write pages and pages about this, but i won't.

this is going to sound corny, but i am so thankful to have toro here. my love for this stupid dog keeps me grounded and keeps me focused. he needs me, and therefore i have to keep my shit together, if not for myself then for him.

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Monday, April 19th, 2010
10:24 pm - these things happened:
- spent the night in the house. woke up seriously feeling better than i have felt in a long time. i am convinced that sleeping on that futon was the culprit of many of my problems... i'm not kidding, most mornings i get up and i can barely move because my lower back is killing me. my backaches have actually woken me up at night. but after sleeping on a real bed, i jumped right out of bed this morning and felt really, really good all day.

- toro, on the other hand, did not. the boy, he has a nervous stomach, and when he gets nervous, he gets squirty. poor guy pooped in the living room and in the spare bedroom. i locked him in the garage while i was gone because i seriously didn't know what else to do. feeding him pumpkin until the anxiety passes.

- met my new boss this morning. said, "hi, i'm joseph grey." he shook my hand and said, "yeah, i know." i don't know what to make of it.

- i went to the apartment to check on tasha brown, and i picked up some cooking supplies. went to the grocery store. the grocery store in this neighborhood is called fiesta. this might be the most mexican place i've ever seen. i walked in, and they're bumping tejano music, and they sell gold jewelry next to the produce, and belts, and goya products, and dickies pants. the dickies pants are next to the meat department. shit is bananas, son. i felt like i was back in bushwick.

- tomorrow, working late. yeeeeeeeaaaah. then i'm going to go to the apartment, hopefully pick up tasha brown, and bring her back to the house. after that, will be spending wed, thurs and fri cleaning up my apartment for the barbecue on saturday.

- i am exhausted.

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12:03 am - if this is it, please let me know
so tonight is my first night in the new house.

i moved over some clothes to wear to work, most of toro's stuff, some food items, and all my bathroom stuff. . . just enough to get by.

i haven't moved tasha brown over yet, just because i know i can leave her by herself for a while and she'll be fine. i'm going to try to get her tomorrow or the next day.

also, moved over one of my guitars and my amp. i was going to wait to do this, until i put deadbolts on my door, and then i thought, "fuck it. there's a big ass dog living here now. i doubt anyone's going to break into what appears to be an empty house with a big fucking dog in it." totally worth it; it feels mighty good to be able to turn my amp up and sing and not worry about my neighbors getting pissed.

my decision came this morning, after spending the night at my apartment, sleeping in my shitty bed. when i woke up, my back hurt, my neck hurt, and i had a raging headache. it occurred to me that i'd just purchased a massive, comfy bed that's just sitting unused in the new spacious house i just bought... so why the fuck am i torturing myself sleeping in this awful bed?

so me and the boy are here, toro's already asleep. he's already made a friend; one of the neighbor's dogs just roams freely around my block. while i was getting my refrigerator delivered today, this dog literally walked into the garage and stuck his head in my kitchen. toro came out and chased him around the front yard, and now they're buds.

i'm liking this place more and more every minute, and i can't wait until i can get all my stuff moved over here.

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Tuesday, March 9th, 2010
10:56 pm - freak. out.
i made an offer, the seller came back with a counter offer. i accepted his offer. we scheduled a closing on april 15th. i now have to get the home inspected, and get homeowners insurance. money has exchanged hands. i think it's done.


(throws up)

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Sunday, February 28th, 2010
4:07 pm - house update
there's a few things going on:

-my mortgage has been approved, and the amount they approved me for is more than i need. i'm going to try applying through my bank too, because if i get approved through them i don't have to make a mortgage payment for the first three months.

-the place i originally wanted is not for sale. for some reason, prudential realty just has this random ass house on several real estate websites but it's not for sale. thinking maybe the owners tried to sell it last year but then changed their minds? still, the guy i talked to at prudential was all like "well, our listings aren't always accurate." hell of a business model, dude.

-i totally can't afford anything where i wanted to live, which is in south austin, west of I-35. however, if you look in south austin, EAST of 35, i mean literally across the highway, there are comparable houses for $50-60K less. i found a lot of really nice looking places in the $100K price range... i could go higher than that, but why spend more if i don't have to? east side of austin is still a little rough- it's frequently described as "up and coming". i don't mind a scruffy neighborhood, actually prefer it because eventually, those neighborhoods will improve and the home value will go up. my commute to work will be the same, i'll still be really close to downtown, and i'll be closer to the band's practice space. speaking of:

-the anchor got back in town this week. they are ready to start doing more manzig shows... jay even wants to book a small tour around texas for 4 or 5 days. he's gotten some offers that seem like we'd actually get paid to play. the guys are also interested in doing something together besides manzig... i gave them the triple scorpio website and asked them to check it out. if they want to do it, great, if not i'll find other people but would still like to play with them because they're cool guys.

-went out to see the anchor play last night, and drank a lot of beer. i'm still on crutches, and it was the first time i've gone out in six weeks. it was a lot of fun. tonight, a roller girl i know asked me if i'd want to be her +1 to a roller derby bout tonight. she skates for them but is injured so she can't play tonight.

-this week i start physical therapy and my realtor wants to take me out to start looking at houses. still can't believe i'm doing this...

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Saturday, February 27th, 2010
3:10 pm
do you feel that people in our generation feel a significantly greater sense of entitlement than previous generations? has this been more prevalent in recent years? or is this something i'm just noticing now? please discuss.

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Thursday, February 18th, 2010
11:20 pm - juice.
today was the day that joseph andrew stack posted a suicide note online, proceeded to burn down his own house, then drove to the georgetown airport and flew his private plane into the IRS building here in austin. this was presumably his way of protesting what mr. stack felt was unfair treatment at the hands of the IRS.

what jumped out at me, as the story began to develop throughout the day, was the fact that joe stack owned a house and a plane. this means that right there, without knowing anything else about him, you can conclude that he was better off than 99.9% of the population of austin, texas which is by and large not incredibly affluent.

it was a very selfish and cowardly act committed by a presumably unstable guy who wanted to blame everyone in the world except himself for his own personal problems. at least, that's what i believe, and i think that that opinion would be hard to debate.

but then i turned on the news tonight and saw stories about joseph andrew stack facebook pages... people on the internet saluting this guy as some sort of hero. people saying that this guy was somehow justified in what he did, even going so far as to speculate that he didn't mean to hurt anyone.

i don't know how you intentionally fly a plane into an office building and not expect someone to get hurt.

i've noticed an alarming trend since last november- there seems to be more anger than ever coming from white, upper-middle class people. you see, white people used to have juice. if you were a white upper-class dude, you were the bomb. you made sweet money, you had a nice house, fancy car, you had stocks and 401k's and you had other like-minded white guys in powerful places in government and society, looking out for your interests. your life was the shit.

but since the economy contracted about two years ago, everyone- well, almost everyone- had to tighten their belts a little. some of us had to tighten our belts more than others. but there is definitely a segment of the population that does not understand this and simply cannot deal with it. tighten my belt? why should i tighten MY belt? i'm above that shit. let the poor people brown bag it.

but then things took a drastic change. suddenly, you've lost your job or your business is failing, your house is worth less than what you owe on it, your stock portfolio is in the toilet, and there is a BLACK GUY with a PROGRESSIVE AGENDA in the white house.

this last part, in my opinion, was due to americans telling white upper-class dudes, en masse, "we gave you the keys, and you drove right into a ditch, so now we want to let someone else drive for a while."

now, some white upper-class dudes decided to man up and deal with it. scaled back. regrouped. others, and i dare say most of them, have lost their fucking minds. because their money and their status and their possessions were all they had, they completely shut down when these things are threatened. not saying that was exactly the case with mr. stack, but mr. stack exemplifies a symptom of a much larger illness.

there's a lot of anger out there. there's a lot of marches on the white house, consisting almost exclusively of white people. there's the republican party, largely made up of entitled upper-class white people, aggressively voting against anything that will help the president accomplish anything or look good. there are people flying planes into IRS offices, and there are others praising them for doing so.

when muslim extremists flew planes into buildings to protest our government nine years ago, these same white upper-class people decried them as terrorists. when one of their own does it, he's considered by some to be a hero.

i say to these people the same thing they've been saying to guys like me or anyone that doesn't agree with them for years. this is america, son. if you don't like it, get the fuck out. you don't like the president? leave. no one's stopping you. personally, i didn't like the last guy in office but i didn't move to france. i didn't blow up any buildings, either.

if you really hate the government and you hate the direction this country is going in, then please get the fuck out. but god damn it, stop taking hostages and killing abortion doctors in church and flying your private planes into buildings. grow the fuck up. life is not always easy, and if you're an adult you hunker down and you deal with it instead of striking out at people who have nothing to do with you and your problems.

deal with it.

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Thursday, November 26th, 2009
9:08 am - reposted from last year's LJ
originally posted november 26th, 2008

we go through this every year, dear readers, and we're going to go through it again.

you slave over a hot stove all day long. you make the stuffing, the potatoes, the rolls, the green beans, the gravy, all that shit. . . and you spend hours- HOURS- making sure that the turkey is cooked just right. cook it too much and it's dry. cook it too little and you've just given all your houseguests explosive diarrhea.

you put all this work into your fucking turkey and it's sitting on the table looking all succulent and shit, and then everyone says grace and it's time to dig in, and what do you do? i'll tell you what you do. you open up a fucking CAN of CRANBERRY SAUCE and you plop a shuddering red cylinder of that shit out of the can and onto your plate, and you put that bullshit all over the turkey that you spent so many precious hours of your life cooking. hours that you can never get back.

i'm going to break it down for you, cats and kittens: you just took the EASIEST staple of the thanksgiving menu, and you fucking PHONED IT IN. i guarantee you, if you ever had real, homemade cranberry sauce, you would throat-punch anyone who ever tried to serve that canned shit in your house. for one thing, it's tart, it's sweet, it's fucking goddamn delicious. for another thing, it doesn't have that weird metallic aftertaste. for another thing, it's a very hard recipe to fuck up. it's easy enough to make and you can even customize it to make it kinda fancy and impress the shit out of your houseguests who bought their fucking pie at the store anyway.

here you go, and you're very fucking welcome:

1 bag of cranberries
1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar

throw it in a pot. bring it to a boil. bring the heat down a little and let it cook until the berries have broken up, MAYBE five minutes tops. THAT'S IT. YOU'RE DONE. if you wanted to fancy it up, substitute 1/2 a cup of water with 1/2 a cup of orange juice, or 1/2 a cup of meyer's dark rum (let that alcohol cook off though, or that shit is gonna taste like. . . well, it's gonna taste like you're french kissing me. which you've probably already done. if you haven't, your friend has. she can tell you all about it) and throw in a little ORANGE ZEST, SON! awwwwww yeah, you have just made some fucking BANGING cranberry sauce.

so that's it. we're done for this year. i'll be back again next year around this time. until then, this is the joseph grey telling you to MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING SAUCE.

happy thanksgiving.

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Sunday, November 8th, 2009
10:39 pm - the plan
off work this week.

me and toro and going to get in the car and drive up to little rock, where we'll spend the night at a hotel monday night. the next morning, we're heading up to cherokee, north carolina where my mom lives. planning on renting a log cabin from tuesday to friday or maybe saturday... i want to be in new orleans on saturday night. sunday morning, i drive back to texas.

looking forward to hanging out in the mountains with toro and sitting around the fire. it's gonna rule.

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1:00 pm
dear austin:

you need to step up your breakfast game. for a town so full of people who like to drink their faces off, you have a surprisingly limited number of weekend breakfast/brunch options. it makes no sense to me why a restaurant in a city that is full of college students and musicians would stop serving breakfast at 11AM, much less why most of them do, if they even serve breakfast at all.

the handful of restaurants that do serve late breakfast on weekends always have massive lines of people waiting to be seated. just today i went to three places that served late breakfast and all of them had crowds of people standing outside IN THE RAIN waiting to get some eggs and bacon. this will just not do, austin. this is a travesty and it must be stopped. i myself would love to just open up a restaurant that serves nothing but breakfast and serves it all day long, and i know that if i did this that the place would be constantly packed full of breakfast-deprived austinites and i would be SO PAID and i'd have a swimming pool full of money like scrooge mcduck. however, i am not going to do this because i am lazy and don't want to deal with owning a restaurant. NOR SHOULD I HAVE TO. there are TONS of budding entrepreneurs in this city; i'm providing you with a very simple, very lucrative business model: serve breakfast all day, every day. preferably in south austin. my fat ass alone will keep you in business.

you could learn a thing from baltimore, austin texas. baltimore's breakfast game is legit. baltimore is full of people who like to get pants-crappingly drunk and have casual sex with each other and then have awkward, hungover breakfasts late the next morning where you ask each other things like, "so, what do you do for a living?" and "um, what's your last name?" and there are TONS of restauranteurs who recognize and cater to this demographic (the "wasted hookup" demo) and baltimore has plenty of places to get some banging food late in the morning because of it.

i know for a fact that this demographic is thriving in austin, so i'm not sure why the local restaurant industry chooses to spit in its face. do you make so much money on lunch and dinner that breakfast just seems like overachieving? is breakfast too "corporate"? will it bring down the street cred of your establishment? "we don't serve breakfast here. you know who eats breakfast? THE MAN."

and yes, austin, i know about breakfast tacos, and that there are tons of places that serve breakfast tacos all day. but you can't put a pancake on a taco (or can you? guys, these are all solid gold ideas here and i'm GIVING THEM AWAY), and sometimes you just want some pancakes and bacon. or, if you're me, all the time.

restaurant owners, i'm telling you: breakfast is the most important meal of the day. it's just not important enough to get up before 10AM on a sunday for. i am clearly not the only person who feels this way, and in these tough economic times, can you really afford to be turning your back on potential customers? my name is the joseph grey, and i'm proposing all day, every day breakfast menus in eateries all over central texas.

god bless you, and god bless the united states of america.

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Friday, October 16th, 2009
8:14 pm - doggie judgement.
do you let your dog sleep in your bed?

i am reading all these articles on training your dog to make sure he doesn't misbehave. and all of them. . . well. . . kind of suck. there's a lot of no's and don'ts in all these articles. don't let your dog sleep in your bed. don't let your dog go through a doorway first. don't play with your dog on the floor. don't let your dog sit on your couch and watch television.

it's like, ok, why get a fucking dog then? don't you get a dog for companionship? i understand the need to establish dominance, but at the same time, i didn't adopt a dog just so i can be a complete dick to this animal all the time. i just want the fucking thing to not jump all over people when he meets them. but if he jumps a little, it's not the end of the world.

i don't want to shit on dog trainers as a whole, but they just don't seem like fun people. they seem like people who had something, somewhere go very wrong in their lives, and they compensate for it by being in 100% control of these dogs. besides, they deny the dog all this stuff and spend all these hours teaching the dog commands and establishing dominance and when it comes down to it, if the dog doesn't want to sit he's not going to. i'm generalizing of course. but seriously, some of these people who write these articles should really lighten up with the boot camp shit. i don't want to live with a marine, i want to live with a dog.

but anyway, one of my favorite things is to sleep with my dog. it is the shit. he curls up next to me and snores and sometimes farts and i know it sounds terrible but i really like it. and then when we wake up, he doesn't always want to get up so he'll plop his head on my shoulder and give me sleepy eyes. so, for real, son: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT? WHY DOES THAT MAKE ME A TERRIBLE DOG OWNER? THIS IS THE REASON I GOT A DOG.

so anyway, just humor me: does your dog sleep in your bed with you, and if i let my dog sleep in my bed, is it really that awful? because i don't think it is.

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Thursday, October 15th, 2009
12:54 pm - joseph grey, age 34
today is my birthday. i'm working. boooooooooooooooooooo.

two things:

- i'm working late tonight (6:30pm) but i'm trying to go out for dinner after work. no details yet. hit me up if you'd like to join me and whoever else is going.

- if you're not friends with me on facebook: i'm having a get-together saturday night. you're invited. here are the details:

Type: Party - Night of Mayhem
Network: Global
Start Time: Saturday, October 17, 2009 at 10:00pm
End Time: Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 2:00am
Location: The Liberty
Street: 1618 1/2 E 6th Street
City/Town: Austin, TX

On October 15th, I will be getting one year older, as I do every year. And as I also do every year, I will be celebrating my birthday by going to a bar and getting pants-shittingly drunk.

This is where you come in. You see, if I go to a bar by myself and get so drunk that I crap myself, then that makes me an ALCOHOLIC. However, if I go to that same bar and surround myself with friends and get so drunk that I crap myself, then that makes me a FUN GUY. And the best gift you could give this guy on his 34th birthday is a drink and an excuse to not engage in some serious introspection. Well, that and some birthday sex, but if you show up I won't hold you to it.

Also: this will be the first birthday in a long time that I will be celebrating with my New Orleans people, who are all DRINKERS. I'm a little nervous. If anything happens to me, please get someone to take care of Toro.

hope to see you then!

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Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
9:46 pm
i want to know why one shot of abraxane, a drug used to treat breast cancer costs $5000 per shot and why you have to get these shots on a regular basis for six months to a year. why americans all seem to suddenly have acid reflux, depression, sleep apnea or can't sleep or can't breathe right or can't get it up, and the only cure is a pill you have to take over and over and over. why so many people are in chronic agonizing pain, and the only way to fix it is with drugs that makes you addicted.

it seems a little too convenient to me that drug companies only seem to be able to manufacture treatments that you have to purchase from them over and over and over. it seems like it's been a long time since i've heard of someone actually being cured of anything. meanwhile, while most industries in this economy are retracting, the pharmaceutical industry is expanding and bringing in record profits.

i don't question the fact that everyone should have healthcare coverage. i question what we're covering and why we are covering it.

the government bailed out the banks, and then brought the heads of the banks in to ask them what they were going to do to keep themselves from having to get bailed out again. they had to come up with a plan. they had to have tighter regulation.

the government helped prop up the auto industry, but asked them for a business plan. asked them what they were going to do to keep it from happening again.

if the government is going to go into the healthcare business, then it's time to go to the drug companies and ask why the fuck can't they seem to fix anything? it's time for the government to demand transparency on research and development and not come crawling back to the pharmaceutical industry over and over again, taxpayer dollars in hand, like some sick junkie.

someone needs to ask the question: why is it that over the past twenty years, suddenly everyone's sick, and they can only be treatment with the drugs that YOU manufacture, but YOU seem to only be able to manufacture drugs that will only help the user maintain and will never make them better?

i want healthcare reform, too. i just want to know who is overseeing it and just exactly who we're crawling into bed with.

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Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
8:56 pm - baltimore, we need to talk.
you need to get over this anthony bourdain dude. i know he went on tv and tried to make you look all ghetto, but you need to just get over it and move on.

it should be said that no man is perfect. except one. his name is burt reynolds. but anthony bourdain comes pretty damn close. he's easy on the eyes, is rich, has a cool job and 95% of all women on planet earth want to bang his skin off. he's got that perfect combination of mainstream appeal and subculture edginess. . . he's a guy that's equally at home having apple pie in a suburban housewife's kitchen as he is telling stories about shooting heroin in the bathrooms of nyc punk clubs in the 70's. he is, in short, a dreamy son of a bitch. so i can see why you'd really want him to like you, baltimore.

and to be honest with you, i think he does like you. the problem isn't him, it's you. you want him to see that there's more to you than drug dealers on street corners and thugs and prostitutes. there's luxury condominiums and the inner harbor and government-job yuppies who commute to DC everyday.

baltimore, you need to stop being so defensive about your past. everytime a man looks at you, you think he's looking at "the wire", but maybe he's just looking at you as the confident, beautiful city you really are deep down inside. because if you really want a deep, meaningful relationship with a television host, then he's got to love you for YOU. he's got to love you for federal hill as much as he loves you for cherry hill. but before he can love you, you have got to love yourself.

fuck new york. fuck philadelphia. fuck DC. you are CHARM CITY, girl. you got that name for a reason. you're just the right mix of classy and trashy. you've got white soccer moms in mount vernon driving SUV's with spinners on them. you've got a million hipster kids in charles village in tight jeans and gold chains who either have or will live in brooklyn at some point and they all guest DJ upstairs at the ottobar. you've got chubby russian girls with fake nails in locust point. you've got transvestite prostitutes on calvert street. you can claim francis scott key, thurgood marshall, edgar allen poe, billie holiday, babe ruth, john waters, edward norton, DMX, david hasslehoff, and most importantly your boy: the joseph. fucking. grey. how many places can make the exclusive claim that a man of my stature lived within your borders, drank too much of your booze, slept with most of your women, and called that city "home"? ONLY, like, four or five or them. you're THE CITY THAT READS, for fuck's sake.

so all i'm saying, baltimore, is walk it off. go buy yourself a sexy new dress, because we're going out to the club tonight, and we're gonna tip the DJ five dollars to play "the percolator", and we are gonna prove that we don't need anthony bourdain and we don't need his approval, because we are who we are, and we believe in who we are, and we love who we are. so if some dude on basic cable wants to focus on a couple of rundown neighborhoods on the west side, that's cool, because baltimore is beautiful, baltimore is sexy, and we're the best thing that's ever going to happen to him.

go on, girl.

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Saturday, July 4th, 2009
3:12 pm - miss downtown tasha brown
8 years ago today, my best friend "downtown" tasha brown was born. we met at an animal shelter in phoenix, maryland 16 weeks later, and have been together ever since. she's followed me to new york city and to austin, texas and has been the sweetest, nicest, coolest cat a guy could ever want. i love you tasha brown. happy birthday.

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Thursday, June 25th, 2009
8:02 pm
dear sir-

Michael Jackson Pictures, Images and Photos

all kidding aside, i absolutely loved your music.


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