i went through a really hard time after hurricane katrina, after the severity of what had happened actually settled in. i spent weeks staying up all night, watching the news, reading articles online, and getting angrier and angrier that my people- yeah, that's right. my people- were being left to twist in the wind. when i did sleep, i had nightmares about floods and dead bodies floating through the streets.
eventually i came to accept that what happened, happened and there was nothing i could do to change it. getting angry and torturing myself wasn't going to fix it.
when i first read about the oil spill, i tried really hard to avoid following the news about it. after all, i knew that even the best case scenarios were going to be disastrous, but knowing about what was going on was only going to make me angry about things i can't control.
but in the past few weeks, the coverage on the spill has been pretty much unavoidable, and i find myself falling into that trap of watching the news all night, reading articles on websites, looking at pictures of pelicans struggling to escape blobs of oil. and there's that part of me that wants to be pissed off and bitter and say "THERE YOU GO. THERE'S LOUISIANA, GETTING SCREWED AGAIN." and while yes, louisiana is getting screwed, it's inevitable that this is probably going to affect all of the south and a big chunk of the east coast, too, if the predictions are correct.
i want to get mad at the president. seriously, i kind of want to take my vote back. i'm not sure what he's supposed to be doing, but whatever it is shouldn't have taken him six weeks to do.
the guy i'm actually mad at is BP's CEO tony hayward. could this guy possibly project more of a "i couldn't care less" attitude? i doubt it. this is becoming an environmental disaster on a global scale, and this dude seriously looks like it bothers him that he's got to take time out of his day to deal with it. and of course there's the obvious rancor that could be directed at the company itself, which invested billions in drilling technology but virtually nothing in researching failsafes in case something like this ever happened.
it sucks and i don't know what to do about it and it's triggering all the bad feelings i had after katrina, when i felt like i should be doing something but there was really not much i could do. i could write pages and pages about this, but i won't.
this is going to sound corny, but i am so thankful to have toro here. my love for this stupid dog keeps me grounded and keeps me focused. he needs me, and therefore i have to keep my shit together, if not for myself then for him.